The other day on one of our walks,
my youngest son innocently wondered,
What would it have been like to have had Aunt Tina
in my life?
…In that moment, I was taken aback.
Flashing memories and raw emotions swarming through my mind…
Too freshly resurfaced to express all the wonders of my sister…
Taken away all too soon for me to have fully appreciated
the first fifteen years;
when I had her in mine.
But in that moment,
as I struggled to come up with an answer,
out of my mouth came the words that she is in his life;
just not as someone who he can physically see.
I told him I believe our lost loves become our guardian angels
who help watch over us and keep us safe throughout our lives.
I told him I believe it is the angels of those whom we’ve loved and lost along the way
who help protect us in our darkest moments.
Who help us to eventually see all that is beautiful and meaningful in this life again.
Because without them to remind us in our hurried lives,
we become too narrowly focused on the daily demands
and we can easily forget.
Life can seem unfair.
The dark can overpower even the brightest moments
if we forget to seek out that which brings love, peace and joy.
So I told my son I remember my sister today
as I gaze beyond the deepest oceans into the endless skies,
as I listen to the birds
singing joyfully
and as I watch the leaves dancing among the swaying trees.
And now that I have had time to ponder, I can say my sister
was a deep breath of fresh morning air,
the first drop of much needed rain
and the bright ray of sunshine in a sky full of darkened clouds.
I told my son about a lot of laughter,
a bunch of silly and so much fun in every day living.
And as I continue to envision
all the good she left behind
to all those who were blessed enough
to have loved her on this Earth…
I wonder…
What if we took the light
that once shined
in those whom we’ve loved and lost
and let that same light shine again
through us?
For is it not true that one of the reasons we continue to love
those who were only in our lives for a little while
is because of how they made us feel
when we were with them?
Love, peace and joy doesn’t need to end because someone we love fades from our lives.
Rather it should continue forever because of who we are
for once having been loved by them.
Kel B
May 3, 2016